The next time you think your motel bill is too high, you might want to consider this. . .

Filed under:Dirty — posted by admin on June 8, 2007 @ 2:36 pm

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice motel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice motel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the motel has an Olympic-sized pool and a weight room that were available for the husband and wife to use.

“But we didn’t use them,” the man complains.

“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have ordered the complimentary champaign dinner service for which the motel is famous. “The best chefs from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas have cooked here,” the Manager says.

“But we didn’t order any food,” complains the man again.

“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But sir,” he says, this check is only made out for $50.”

“That’s correct,” says the man. “I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.

“Well, too bad,” the man replies. “She was here and you could have.”

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Motel Bizarre by Stephanie Crabe
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Recommended Viewing - Blood Simple

Filed under:Recommended Viewing — posted by admin on @ 9:14 am

There’s a few months before Motel Bizarre hits the shelves of porno stores, doctors waiting rooms and church pews, so in preparation for this we’re going to be recommending some books and movies that have influenced Stephanie Crabe’s work and will “get you in the mood” to peruse the perverted and sleazy world of Motel Bizarre!

Up first is the Coen Bros. neo-noir film Blood Simple

.Blood Simple

“The title was coined by Dashiell Hammett in his novel Red Harvest, where he used it to describe the addled, fearful mindset people are in after prolonged immersion in violent situations.” - Wikipedia

Blood Simple Blood Simple

“The story begins with Ray (John Getz) and Abby (Frances McDormand) driving down a Texas highway in pouring rain. Ray works at a bar owned by Abby’s husband Julian Marty (Dan Hedaya). Though there were no previous relations between Ray and Abby, they spend the night together in a motel, not knowing that Marty had commissioned a private detective (M. Emmet Walsh) to spy on Abby. Marty is informed and lets them know that he knows by making a menacing phone call to their hotel room. The detective gives Marty some incriminating photos he evidently enjoyed taking as a ‘perk of the job’… ” - the first paragraph of Wikipedia’s plot summary